Graduation day has come and gone.
I received my degree already, but my last working day is not until mid-August. The others who graduated with me are ready to move on to their jobs as physicians, one of them as faculty in our program. I'm the only one who is going for further training.
Its an odd, odd feeling. I remember feeling like this somewhat at the end of medical school- empty, with no threads to connect the days. Work is still busy but strangely pointless. The other residents form groups much as we had, laughing down the hallways. They talk to me like always, but I feel redundant. There are so many things to do- finish my research, dictate transfer summaries, packing, moving arrangements. I just hang there like a cloud full of water.
All of it seems a bit like the TV ads for Cymbalta. (Or is it Abilify?) The only bright spots are my patients. The moment where I tell them I'm leaving. Some smile and congratulate me, others are disappointed, some break down. One patient prepared a little speech by the time I walked him out. The women, patients, wives, mothers, hug me. The men offer longer, firmer, more final handshakes. Sometimes I feel like crying. Usually I don't.
There's 6 more weeks of this..its going to be 6 long ones.