That was your final warning.

The in-laws are here, and the boundary violations have begun.

Sample 1. Its bedtime. A is on call. Mother-in-law tells sister-in-law, 'Sleep with P if you're scared, since A is not here.'

1. She is 27, for eff's sake. If she is scared of sleeping by herself, take her to a shrink. (On second thoughts, maybe not.)
2. This is my bed, you know. Does it even vaguely cross your mind that I may not want to share my conjugal bed with my husband's sister? Does it even vaguely occur to you to ask?

I'd give you sample 2, but its too depressing. Have a great weekend.

Read and post comments


About purplesque

Psychiatrist, cook, bookworm, photographer. Not necessarily in that order.
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34 Responses to Rant

  1. lauowolf says:

    eeeeeeactually that's really weirdand depressingso, how long do you have the pleasure of their company?

  2. jaklumen says:

    I don't have it that bad that way but I kinda understand what you mean by boundary violations.(My parents did other weird shit.)

  3. OMG no inlaw even gets near my bedroom let alone my bed! Let her sleep in the living room with the TV for ocmpany. How many days before they leave?

  4. Emjay says:

    I feel your pain! I am still traumatised by my in-law visit earlier this year. You have my sympathies. I hope you can get some space to yourself – sunshine helps. Or, find something they don't want to do and go and do that on your own.

  5. (((((((((((bighugs))))))))))))Sounds awkward and a little creepy and difficult, and gosh I'm sorry you have all this going on…….((((((morehugs)))))))

  6. ahhh… the universal problem of the in-laws. don't worry– we all understand!

  7. Hand her a teddy bear and blankie and show her that there's nothing hiding in the closets.

  8. Purplesque says:

    Sigh. One whole month. Its going to be a long one.

  9. Purplesque says:

    😦 I'm sorry. I can at least say I have nice, normal parents.

  10. Purplesque says:

    Sigh.. Even the kitchen, my spot of solace, has been invaded completely! Today I made an Indian snack while my mother-in-law made my (unwilling) sister-in-law stand there and watch me do the whole thing, so that she could learn. The only person who enjoyed the process was MIL herself.

  11. Purplesque says:

    Thanks. I wish I could learn to ignore things, but I get all hurt and sore and don't say anything and let things fester..if a patient did that I'd be sending them to assertiveness training! lol

  12. Purplesque says:

    🙂 Thats the only comfort- that it is universal.

  13. Purplesque says:

    I don't really think sister-in-law was scared. This was just an example of mother-in-law's extreme involvement with her adult children, telling them what to eat and how to dress and what to do. It is utterly ridiculous and completely pisses me off, especially when she tries to extend it to me.

  14. jaklumen says:

    It evens out.My mother's control issues maybe aren't as bad as your MIL's are currently, but when you mention "boundary violations", I said to myself, "well, I can relate to that…"Fortunately, however, I have a nice, normal, and pleasant relationship with my MIL. However, that means my wife would say the opposite. We like her mom, my mom… erm… some days we do, some days we don't.

  15. Emjay says:

    Isn't it strange how we "forget" how to be assertive in these situations. Near the end of the 9 days my inlaws stayed with us I did "blow up" at my MIL when she had just pushed too far. She went off in a huff but when she came back she was quite meek for the last day! LOL. I think subconsciously we also do not want to make our husbands have to "choose" who they would side with if things went sour.

  16. Awwwwww, ((((pentupfrustrationshugs)))) — it's REALLY hard to be assertive with families. REALLY. I think it's just wonderful that you see it all for what it is, and know how annoyed you are, and can share it with us, at least. Some people wouldn't get that far – -they'd be all whiny and blaming their unhappiness on something entirely different……which would be worse in the long run.

  17. Purplesque says:

    Sigh. Well, and we have vox, don't we? Being able to rant in front of friends definitely makes it easier for me.

  18. Purplesque says:

    Oh God, yes. I'd hate to do that to A. Sometimes, he tells me I should just learn to say No, rather than playing nice, even when its his parents. Now if only I could take that advice..lol

  19. Purplesque says:

    Yes, and I understand part of it is just the kind of relationship it is. And I understand it could be a lot worse. And being able to rant on Vox makes it so much more bearable.Thanks. 🙂

  20. Brown Suga' says:

    [this is not good]Ewww, gross! She's 27?!I am really not looking forward to having a MIL!((((sympathetic hugs))))

  21. On the other hand, if you feel like you want to *THWAP* somebody with a handful of wet noodles, I promise I won't tell anyone……… 🙂

  22. bee says:

    hugs to you, honey. you need one.

  23. Lakshmi says:

    Can understand. Good luck lady, you'll need all of that stuff. And yes, we are standing ready if you need a shoulder or a punching bag.

  24. This is really awful! But personal space is not so highly valued in Asia, so I can see how this happened. But a 27-year-old from anywhere shouldn't get scared of sleeping alone. Good luck, Purple! I just got out of my in-laws' house. They were nice and everything but they kept pushing parties and gatherings on us while we were already half dead from working. So, it's tough with the in-laws. It really is. God bless you and may you have extra patience and tolerance for anything that may come your way in the next two weeks. 🙂

  25. Purplesque says:

    🙂 Thank you. *Goes to look for a supply of fresh strong noodles.*

  26. Purplesque says:

    Thank you. May I have a supple of daily hugs while they are here?

  27. Purplesque says:

    Thanks. I hate to rant about something as universal as in-laws trouble, but some days you just have to.

  28. Purplesque says:

    Thanks. I think my main problem is that I grew up in a household with tons of personal space and married into one with none. The in-laws burrow into my closets, foist food upon me, want complete details of our finances..sigh.

  29. Lakshmi says:

    At least be thankful (?!) they don't interfere in your sex life. I know ils that do.

  30. Purplesque says:

    It wouldn't come as a surprise if they tried. Actually, I wish they would. It would be fun, at least.

  31. Oink says:

    What would you have done if she'd taken up the offer? Would you have kicked her bum right back to her room? I hope so.

  32. Purplesque says:

    I wish I could say yes, but probably not. The more likely scenario would be me lying in the remotest corner of the bed, fretting and fuming and not saying a word..LOL

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